As Ms. Ever-in-control, I aspire to remain the alpha female of my domain. No one is more tired of this lingering back trouble than me: Unless you count my husband and the kids. Oh they’re all plenty helpful but I’m afraid my uselessness is wearing on their nerves as much as it is mine.
And that fear is the heart of the problem.
Since the original injury I’m afraid of doing too much, afraid of not doing my fair share, afraid of moving wrong and mostly afraid of giving in to my alpha female side and doing it anyway – whatever the ‘it’ of the moment may be. (which only launches the fear of extending the recovery time.)
I’m afraid my inner alpha female is just not the patient sort.
When I thought about it, I was shocked to realize how many of my thoughts and words were preceded by ‘fear’. It’s not a happy place – at all.
Fear is a place most of the alpha female characters in my paranormal romance novels wouldn’t linger in. Jaden might have been afraid, but she found action to be her cure. Petra dealt with more than her fair share of fear when her empathy gift siphoned it off of other people. Cali had mountains of fear to overcome, but accepting herself was key.
Fortunately, for alpha females in books or real life, fear is only a state of mind.
Which is reassuring as it means even I can overcome my fears. As the author of my own life, I focus on what I can accomplish without injurious complications. It’s a tame list, but amazingly enough, writing, reading, editing, blogging, and facebook all help.
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Live the adventure!